Is the same with your bear child?

1.Hilarious

Hilarious

1. How many legs the horse has

Dad: How many legs does the horse have?

Son: Shijo.

Dad: How about running?

Son: Who can count so fast?

dad:……

2. Where did the remaining money go?

Daughter: Dad, your arithmetic is not as good as your mother!

Dad: Why do you say that?

Daughter: Every time you report to your mother, your mother always says something wrong. Where did your remaining money go?

dad:……

3. Can I still go to the kindergarten now?

Yesterday I went home from get off work and heard my 5-year-old son singing: "Get up, people who don’t want to be slaves..."

I thought to myself, yes, I would sing the national anthem when I was young. I only sang it when I was 9 years old.

He sang to the end: "We are one mind, holding the enemy's wife, bridal chamber, bridal chamber, bridal chamber..."

Nima, can I still go to the kindergarten now?

4. My nephew stumped me

"Uncle, have you read Journey to the West?"

　　Me: My uncle watched Journey to the West growing up, and watched it dozens of times. It is released every winter and summer vacation, and every plot can be recounted!

　　 Nephew: You take Tang Seng’s curse to me and listen! He buzzes too fast every time, I can't hear him clearly.

2.Where is Dad series

3.Minefield

Baby you first withdraw, I will cover

Walking on the road, a child gave me a whip and frightened me. I saw that the child was so cute and wanted to tease him. He deliberately acted fiercely: You are a bear child, come here to see the old lady not to beat you! Suddenly a man rushed out of the corner and shouted: "I was discovered by the enemy, baby, you first withdraw, I will cover!" After that, throw firecrackers at me, and run while throwing..., -_-#

What about me and your mother?

lz female, boring husband teasing 4-year-old son this morning, the son is drinking water, Zaizai If there is only this glass of water left in the world, whoever drinks it will have the following dialogue

　　仔: I drink

　　 Husband: What about me and your mother?

　　仔: Mom drank my pee and you drank mom's pee.

  husband:…………

Hurry up

Rural children, swim naked in the big rural pond in the summer when they are young~

　　 When I was in the sixth grade of elementary school, I went to swim with my classmates in the county pool. They changed clothes quickly.

　　 After I got down, I urged me to change quickly. I took off my clothes and ran out the door, ready to jump, still shouting "1,2,...jump" in excitement! The moment my feet left the ground, I found women and women below! ! !

　　 This TM is a swimming pool, I haven't put on swimming trunks yet, fuck, hurry up!

Who do you think you curse by drawing a circle?

Lying on the sleeping berth at home, with a lot of thoughts in his heart, the eldest brother next to him is coaxing his 6-year-old daughter.

　　 The eldest brother talked about Comrade Xiaoping and sang "An old man made a circle on the South China Sea" on a whim. The kid asked, what did he do in a circle, and the eldest brother replied about reform and opening up.

　　 At this time, the kid said, "I thought I would curse someone in a circle", haha

4、Tong Yan Wuji

ideal

In class, the teacher conducted a questionnaire survey. The topic was what do you want to do when you grow up?

Many boys raised their hands and said: "Teacher, I want to be an official when I grow up!"

"Why?" the teacher asked further.

"Being a mistress. My mother pinched me when I was born, and I can eat enough for two milk tubes!"

Loud laughter!

Duoduo, the girl at the same table, stood up and corrected: "Teacher, what he said is wrong. The mistress does not mean that. The second wife is the second wife except the older wife, so she can be the little wife for the official. Eat well, wear famous brands, eat big meals, live in a western-style building, wear famous watches, and you can travel around the world!"

Seeing that the situation is not good, the teacher hurriedly stopped Duo Duo, and guided him elsewhere, saying, "Duo Duo, tell the teacher, what do you want to do when you grow up?"

"Teacher, I just want to be the mistress!"

Naughty dick

1. Erdan had just finished the exam, and he returned home and said to her mother: "Mom, I won't let you down in this exam."

Mom happily kissed him, and he went on to say: "Mom, you will be desperate!"

2. Teacher: Erdan, what do you think after hearing the story of Sima Guang hitting the tank?

Erdan: I feel very painful.

Teacher: Why?

Erdan: Because the tank is cracked. It hurts!

Teacher: Get out!

Multiple choice question: eat or do homework

When my son ate dinner, he refused to eat it.

His wife was irritated, and the dinner table was full of gunpowder.

My son asked me for help timidly. I felt relieved. To help him out, I made an idea for my son: "My dear son, tell mom you are going to do your homework, so that mom won't blame you!"

After listening, my son cast a resentful look at me and silently grabbed his job. . .

Cow fork composition

Primary school students' composition "Walking"

"Big Brother, have fun?!"

"How much?" "200."

"It's cheaper?"

"150 nights, is it the old rule!"

"walk!"

Bobo is so big

Take my girlfriend home for the first time, eat for the whole family.

The girlfriend said to the five-year-old nephew: "Lele, you are so smart, my aunt will test you! You can make words or sentences with spinach, and you can’t mention spinach and pineapple in the sentence! Good answer, my aunt will buy you A remote control plane!"

Lele thought for a while and said: Auntie's Bobo is so big!

My rice sprayed out, and the air instantly froze!

Who knows that his girlfriend came to say: Good boy, awesome, Auntie will reward you with a remote control car again!